he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he thought i was a dude.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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