we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
