Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
