You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
