May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
