Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize