my sisters under your porch take her home
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
