Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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