why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
