i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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