This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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