what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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