Got a toothbrush?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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