I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
