it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
