Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize