Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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