hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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