I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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