Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
