sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also, beer. Big fan.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
