at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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