Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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