Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
