he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
