as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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