He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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