youre lurking in front of me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
