Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize