After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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