I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm jealous of your bromance
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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