i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
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He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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