I'm sorry my penis didn't work
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
