Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize