I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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