I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
