I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
