You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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