He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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