Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
