Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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