you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
