So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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