i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
