but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize