he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
