i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
