Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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