Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
