I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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