So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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