Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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