I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
