guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize