Duck Duck Cougar?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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