there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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