I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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