oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
