Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
