It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize