4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize