you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
organizing the empties. That sober.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
