Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
