So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
