He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
