just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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